The musings of a fourth year English medical student

Monday, 21 April 2014

Motivation


Somehow, I don't know exactly how, I've managed to get an offer to study Medicine at the 4th best university in the world, even beating Oxbridge. UCL is also the 4th best medical school in the UK, according to The Guardian. This wonderful UCL that I have dreamt of for years has actually chosen to take me on.

As you can see, it still hasn't sunk in for me. 

It's quite bizarre when I discuss my offer with my friends. I keep telling them I don't believe this is actually happening, to which they always say "But Kate, we always knew you'd get in!"
Then I don't know what to say, but two things pop into my head. Either they clearly don't understand how hard it is to get into medical school in England or that perhaps I am too self-deprecating for my own good, and that I do actually deserve this offer. I suppose both are true, but the latter I struggle to accept.

You see, I didn't get 1200 A*s at GCSE, and I'm not studying five A levels.  I don't play 10 instruments, either. I'm no child prodigy, let there be no mistake about it. To me, UCL is only made of these insanely clever students. So how have I even managed to get my place? I truly don't understand. I never believed for a second that I really could do this.

But all the same,  I am so delighted. I don't think I can properly express in writing just how much I want to study there. 

However, I am facing a very serious issue right now. I am really lacking motivation to revise, and I don't understand why. I've thought of medicine and only medicine for the past 3 years, each work experience placement reinforcing in my mind how it would be the perfect vocation. I, as well as my parents and teachers, have worked our backsides off to maximise all possible chances of getting into medical school. And it's paid off, I now have two offers as two wonderful medical schools. So why aren't I revising? The final hurdle, the dreaded A level exams, are vastly approaching. 

I think a part of it is the fact that recently when I've felt stressed I've resorted to just going completely numb and doing nothing.  Plus bad habits. I've gotten into the routine of partying a lot, lie ins whenever I can. I used to revise throughout the year, but I've forgotten all that recently. 

I'm writing this post in the hope that it clarifies in my head that I want to revise. I want those grades. I want to start my new medical student life. And it all starts with a heck of a lot of revision.
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