The musings of a final year medical student

Thursday, 17 September 2015

Keep calm and carry on!

Hello lovely people,

First of all, a big thank you to my Liverpool medics for being so kind about my last blogpost. Was really nice that you had my back! I also got comments from medics from other unis who strongly resonated with my thoughts. Shout out to Katie who also helped me write the post and shared her views with me. You should check out her blog and her Twitter account. She is wonderful!  

Anyways, I wanted to apologise that some of my blogposts have been negative. Whilst I am not ashamed of having feelings of course, I appreciate that hearing nothing but negativity is in no way uplifting!

However, I've got to start off with what happened to me this morning. Up until today I've been living alone as my housemates had not yet moved in. Luckily I had the morning off and was planning to go into the library and do my anatomy pre-reading. However it didn't exactly go to plan. After having a pretty awful meltdown the night before, I woke up with vigour to take on the day. I have recently had several problems with my new house, which my housing agency hasn't fixed. Anyway, I heard the letterbox flapping (why don't people knock these days?!) and I got the door in my PJs. It was 8.30am, I was enjoying a rare lie in. Two handymen were at the door, initially I was relieved. That quickly changed. They came into the house and one of them had a copy of my most recent email. He then stood there and told me all the complaints in my email were lies. I was protesting that I was telling the truth, but he was having none of it. When I wrote the email, I had checked all previous emails so I had my facts straight. This same man came to my house yesterday NOT at our allocated time, which I mentioned in the email, and he said once again I was lying. Rob and I were at the house when this had happened, we both checked the time. It was not during the allocated time. But it was his word against mine. As he proceeded to enter the kitchen he continued to say that I had not made my complaint soon enough. I have been emailing the agency since the day I moved in, 20 days ago! At this point, it got too much and I burst into tears. This man was in my house making me feel like a fool, like it was my fault. Thankfully Rob came over and helped out. After the not-so-handymen checked the various faults in the house, nothing got fixed. I was short of breath and couldn't stop crying, I felt so embarrassed. They then left saying they would get someone else in at some time. Morning thoroughly ruined. 

Anyway, after all these shitty experiences, I understand the importance of medic friendships. We all have so much thrown at us without the right support networks. We feel like constant failures even though we have the most challenging degrees. I can understand that that sentence may sound incredibly pompous, but it's the truth. It's just how it is. My housemates have now started moving in. I have non-medic friends that got 35% in modules and still passed first year, and have successfully upgraded to a masters in engineering?! How can there be such a disparity between their degree's expectations and our own. In my year, you would feel bad for not making the 85%+ band as that would mean you shouldn't apply for scholarships. How, just how is this happening?! I've spent all my free time working since I've got to uni and I still feel behind. I haven't had any weekends off. 

One other problem with the medic life is the organisational rivalry. There's a competition as to who has done the clinical cases first, who has written the best notes, who got a distinction in their research project. It's sickening. Why can't we just help each other instead of turning the most insignificant things into contests. 

Rant over. Thank you for reading. Will try to spread the positivity soon! Just need to sort my life out. 


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