The musings of a final year medical student

Thursday, 3 March 2016


I've recently been pretty absent on the blog. I have lots of ideas I would like to share, but it has felt so difficult to sit down and type up a post, as well as getting good lighting to take some photos. So here is an update on where I'm at.

Mental health
Overall, my depression has got so much better in 2016. I cry much less, I have much better attendance at university and I am doing well academically. I really feel like the Sertraline has kicked in. I still take 50mg per day and it has done wonders in helping me sleep better and lifting my mood significantly. I have been taking it for just over six months  now and I expect I will continue them until second year is finished before contemplating weaning off them. However, I am by no means cured. I am also starting to think that I have anxiety, too. Looking back retrospectively, I was always a nervous child. I would be cool as a cucumber in important exams, but the thought of going to a big social gathering made me more nervous than sitting my A levels. I have started to feel more and more scared of doing things outside of the house. I still force myself to go out and get stuff done, but I do have to be ritualistic in my preparation and then sometimes my chest feels tight as I brave the outdoors. I am not going to officially self-diagnose myself, but I do feel quite certain that I have some mild manifestation of social anxiety. 

Uni is crazy. I know some people are far busier, but I am really struggling. Perhaps not in an obvious way, but I do find it incredibly overwhelming. If you look at my test scores I'm doing great, but in terms of how I feel it's another story. I am constantly panicking about deadlines. We've started the cardiovascular block and it's really not my cup of tea. And don't even get me started on understanding ECGs. 

I'm definitely going out more and doing more group stuff which has been amazing. My French course is going well, and I've been going to lots of new restaurants with mates. I really love spending time at new places, as long as I'm with familiar people. 

I am so in love with piano right now. I am playing so much Chopin, my favourite composer and it is absolutely wonderful. I've always wanted to get to the technical ability to be able to play his pieces and they sound magical. So satisfying. 

Gym and food
When I go out I eat crap, but when I'm at home I love taking time to make a nice meal. I think I'm definitely eating more healthily. I'm trying to get into the gym, but it's hit and miss. I love it once I'm there, but it just takes a while to get over the fear of leaving the house and looking stupid. 

I hope you're well and that you found this vaguely interesting!

Kate xx



  1. Nice to hear an update from you and it's great to hear you feel better from a mental health point of view :)
    As for ECGs - I went through SO many tutorials close to tears at the frustration of not being able to understand them, until eventually someone taught it in a way that clicked for me. You will get the hang of them eventually, I promise!
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

  2. Girl I know how you feel about ECGs aha! I swear they're in some secret language and I just can't crack the code!! We'll get there one day haha! Really loved this post, I felt like we were old friends just chatting and catching up! :) xx


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