The musings of a fourth year English medical student

Monday, 6 February 2017

JUST AVERAGE


Sometimes medicine can feel very demoralising. I can feel very demotivated at times because I am surrounded by so many clever people. Some people seem to effortlessly recite information that you vaguely remember from a lecture... While you're sitting at home there are peers travelling to present their research at conferences... People training for marathons... Students raising their kids whilst also studying the same course as you ... Peers who already have Bachelors, Masters and PhDs. 
At times, I feel that each moment I'm not working someone else is. Every time I take a weekend to go home someone else is slaving away in the library. 

What is worse is that you are encouraged to compete due to the very nature of the vocation. All specialities are competitive. Passing your exams is not enough. Your CV needs to be brimming with academic interest and extra curricular excellences. You should also attain extra qualifications on top of your bachelors in surgery and medicine. 

I'm sorry for seeming negative. 

I am so grateful to study medicine, but there is no end point. I don't want to be the best; I want to be proud of what I have achieved. But sometimes that is hard when many of your cohort excel in so many things other than the core medical examinations. 

I believe I'm studying the right course. Being at hospital and getting stuck in makes me so happy. I feel incredibly lucky that I am allowed to be where I am, and where this course can take me. I wanted to publish this blogpost to reflect that we shouldn't focus our happiness on how we compare to others. Granted, I struggle to do that a lot, but I try to remind myself that I'm on my own path, my own 'journey'. As cheesy as it is. 


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2 comments

  1. Comparison was a huge problem for me at medical school, and still is now I'm working. Like you, I don't want to be "the best" I just want to be "my best". I sometimes feel less than other people because I haven't intercalated or had a gap year, I haven't been to present research at a conference and I don't know tonnes of facts. But at the end of the day, I still manage to do my job and patients seem to like me which is all I can ask for!
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

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    1. I think it's something we all experience at medical school. And whilst it's nice to have a challenge, it can sometimes feel relentless! But you're right, doing your job well and being liked by patients is what really matters xxx
      Kate

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